He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just had sex on a roof
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
