PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
