now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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