is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
