My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
