Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
