I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
