so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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