What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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