Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
