It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
