My boss' voice literally gives me gas
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
