i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
