I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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