shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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