they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
