I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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