i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
