We got so high we made milksteak
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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