Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
