do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
A+ Viking dick
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
