You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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