You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
