In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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