ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
