its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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