Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
