Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
