those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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