she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
