I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
