Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
