you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
