Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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