You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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