i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
