My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
