Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
