tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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