I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
