if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
