Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
