First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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