WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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