how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
