I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
