you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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