My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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