I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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