Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
