I'm really into asian looking animals
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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